Mark Lubbock

How often have men uttered similar words in a moment of desperation? From childhood till death, men are taught unrealistic, restricted  responses to life's events. 

Media, commercial advertisements, conversation and so-called self-help books say such things as:
"Tough it out", "Trust in Yourself", "Self-Made Man", "Be Self-Reliant", "Real Men Don't Cry", "Rely on Your Inner Strength" - all terms designed to encourage men to shun any outside help and to promote the 'Lone-Wolf' mentality. 

The end result is a society of men who are lost and confused, trying their best to do what is right, yet falling woefully short of the mark. Marriage failure rates are at an all-time high and there are more single-parent families than ever before. There are three generations of men facing new stresses related to the global economy and today's lack of family standards. All of which leads to challenges that are not being appropriately addressed.

Yet in the midst of this seemingly hopeless turmoil, there are men who are not merely coping, but are actually thriving. Even when faced with unexpected job loss, health problems and other elements outside their sphere of control, these men as a group are generally happier and better adjusted than the general population. What is their secret? 

Not long ago a study was undertaken to establish the relative effectiveness of men's small groups. Each man in the study was actively involved with a small group of men on a weekly basis. These men met weekly for an hour participating in a small men's bible study or Christian book study. They not only learned how to encourage one another, but their knowledge and trust grew to the point where they began to function as "brothers", looking out for and supporting each other.

They also tended to hold one another accountable, in a positive way to ensure that no one fell by the wayside. Vulnerability was encouraged and for the most part each man felt comfortable in sharing joys and sorrows within the private group. Everything discussed was accorded privacy and stayed inside the group.

Over time, the men dealt with issues like marriage relationships, children, jobs, health concerns and other normal everyday life events. They learned that the things they experienced were not unique, but that each man shared similar challenges in life. Through this dialog built on mutual trust and respect, under girded by spiritual teaching, the men learned appropriate ways to respond.

The result? Greater satisfaction with life, renewed and sustained joy, improved relationships and a deeper spiritual life. Sound like something you would like for yourself? Look for next month's follow up article detailing not only the biblical basis for such groups, but the beginning tutorial on "How-To".

God Bless,

Mark Lubbock

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